Sunday, August 12, 2007

Phone Psychic Part 2

At around 6am with an hour left of my shift, I began to think I really didn't get as much information as I should have from my earlier conversation with the phone psychic. Fortunately, fate was on my side. You should probably read the post two down from this one to get the first call. Not that it would make anymore sense.

Me: Good morning and thank you for calling "hotel". How may I help you today?
Woman: I believe I talked to you earlier. I am the one who was trying to figure out what I am supposed to do.
Me: Oh yes, we certainly did talk about that.
Woman: Well, I just figured out that I am the one who has to stay at your hotel in order to find this man. Is today the 12th or the 13th?
Me: It is Sunday morning of the 12th.
Woman: Ok, here's what we have to do. I need to stay there on 8/13 and I have to be in suite 813. Some people say that the number 13 is unlucky, but it all makes sense now. You must make this happen.
Me: Well, I would like to make this happen, but it looks like we are sold out on that day and there is no room 813 anyway.
Woman: That can't be right. (pause) I guess I will just have to get this man to come to my home.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't think I ever got your name.
Woman: My name is Mary Lynn. I have recently found out that Mary means mother, like Mother Theresa and Lynn means compassion. It makes sense to me now. This is why I need to find this man.
Me: Well, I'm sorry I couldn't help you more, Mary.
Woman: Do you know that I haven't felt the touch of a man in 5 years? Not a touch, a kiss. I have not made love to a man in 5 years.
Me: ...
Woman: What I need to do is invite this man into my house and we will find what we have both been needing in our lives. We will save each other.
Me: I just wish I could be more help with all of this.
Woman: No no. You have been so kind and helpful. I love you. Thank you so much for talking to me and helping me find out what I need to do.
Me: It has been my pleasure. I hope everything works out with you two.
Woman: Thank you, me too. I love you. Goodbye now.

I swear, I could not make this up. I might as well quit this blog now. There is no way I can top this.

And I am not sure if I want a part 3 of this one or not...


Professor Scoresboard said...

Wow, this blog is awesome. I am linking the fuck out of it when I'm back home in Evanston.

Anonymous said...

There is one thing I know for sure...and that is I must find a way to be an "apprentice" night hotel clerk with you on saturday nights - fo sho.

Gabriela said...

Seriously, Antoine-Jonathon-Kristobal,

Who hasn't resorted to dialing random hotels with a bogus story for the purpose of, once again, feeling the touch a man?

The Auditor said...

But why wait five years to do it?