Friday, February 20, 2009

I Know What You Did Last Night

What made me think you were going to bring an escort up to your room:
  1. You were a walk-in. Most of our guests will have a reservation already made because they planned to be here. People who come in without a reservation tend to make for better blogs.
  2. You checked in at 11pm and your driver's license showed that you live in a suburb that is within reasonable distance. While you didn't have a car with you, the train back to your suburb would still be running, yet you choose to stay downtown at near $200 for the night.
  3. You called from the room and asked if I "happened to know the address of this hotel." This was an awkward question. You may have phrased weirdly because you were nervous about who was coming over. Most likely, it wasn't going to be a pizza guy.
  4. You came down to wait in the lobby and didn't acknowledge the pleasant greetings I gave. Instead you walked straight to a chair that was facing the glass door to sit with your cell phone clutched in hand.

What made me sure that you were bringing an escort up to your room:
  1. Being the good manager I am, I made sure to be within view of the door when she arrived. She had a strange tan and was wearing that lipstick that makes women's lips look all big and glossy. Lots of perfume and hairspray. I have seen dudes who bring in their girlfriends that look like that, but you aren't that kind of dude. That kind of dude usually has the same tan as her, the same amount of hairspray, and those same pouty lips. Take that as a compliment.
  2. Her shoes. This one tends to give it away. While I normally don't notice women's shoes, I automatically check when I think someone might be an escort. Most women in Chicago do not wear stilettos like that in February.
  3. You shook hands when you greeted her.
  4. She was confused about parking on the street and did not ask about valet or about near by garages. I forced myself to resist asking how long she was planning on staying.
  5. She was bitching about Chicago and how much she hates coming up here as she went to relocate her car. This usually means she is from Indiana. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
  6. You stayed inside when she went back outside to her car. My bellman was making conversation about the new parking laws and you shuffled your feet and responded in short agreeing grunts. Afterwards he realised that you probably weren't really into the conversation, but were more interested in getting out of the lobby as soon as possible.
  7. She arrived exactly at 1am. I guessed she would be walking out the door at 2am. My bellman guessed 1:30. He was closer, but overestimated by 8 minutes.
  8. She said "goodbye, sweetie" to me while walking out the door. I believe this is a force of habit. I also have to be nice to people while on the job and know sometimes that can carry over past your shift to people who are not your clients.
  9. I saw her license plate and it wasn't from Illinois. I wont spoil it by saying which state it was from.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Misadventures of Dude and Dave

4:15am Saturday morning. I hear a couple young drunk guests come downstairs and thump their heads on the locked revolving door like moths to a light bulb.

"Dave, come on man. Let's go. We can walk to the Daley Center."

"Dude, I can't. No shoes," says Dave as he gestures down to his feet. "See?" Fact. Only black wooly socks.

"Come on, Dave. Seriously, let's go."

"Dude, no shoes!"

"Stop being a pussy and let's go!"

I step in and ask if they need any assistance. Dude was locked out of his room with his girlfriend passed out inside. I make him a new key and send him back up with a bellman.

Not sure why he wanted to walk six blocks to the Daley Center at 4am. Can't see how that would get him back into his room. Maybe I could have found out if only Dave wasn't such a pussy.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Photo Shoot

My night bellman got a new cell phone recently, but lost a lot of his old contacts, so when he tried to find the number of a cab driver friend of his to pick up one of our guests he got a wrong number. The girl who answered the phone was a young woman who was out clubbing and they ended up having a conversation. After exchanging names, they arranged to have my guy call her back tomorrow afternoon. I overheard the exchange and joked that I was surprised that he didn't try to get a cell phone picture. Well, she called him back and wanted to know how old he was. He said forty five, but that he doesn't look it. I agree, he could be a fresh forty two. Even though he is 250% older than he is, she wanted him to send her a picture because he "sounds good". Well, ok then.

He asked me to help take the picture and to let him borrow my grey suit jacket because he didn't want the picture taken of his work issued purple suit and most heinous tie. For a good half hour we worked on the lighting and different poses through out the lobby until he found one he liked enough to send. This is not exactly what I expected to be doing tonight. Turns out he cant send the picture out tonight due to his service, so will have to wait tomorrow. Let's just hope she is sober enough to remember who he is when she wakes up and gets it.

The whole thing amused me to no end. Even if I was single and ever wanted to meet someone this way, it would never work. My assumption that the correct response would be to over apologise for calling the wrong number so late and hang up quickly. If the girl wanted to continue to talk to me, I would feel obligied to warn the dangers of such meetings. I am, however, going to start telling everyone that this is how my girlfriend and I met.