Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Real Story

I haven't been writing here much. Alot has been going such as a crazy woman trying to bash open doors with a fire extinguisher, a birthday girl getting arrested after finding her boyfriend having relations with another girl, and a young stalker who gave me a quite hilarious love note to deliver to a guest who was staying with another man. I have meant to write out these stories, but I haven't. I'm lazy. I will probably eventually, but not right now. Just over a year ago I mentioned how I had a celebrity guest stay and promised to give the whole story if requested by email at So as an apology to all three people who wrote to me whom I did not write back, I will tell the story now.

In April 2009 Keifer Sutherland and Jesse James Dupree stayed in my hotel for two nights, both which I was working midnights. I grew up watching Keifer movies, starting with Stand By Me which made me afraid to go to Junior High because I was certain that there was an Ace Merirll waiting around the parking lot who was going to stick a cigarette in my eye with his gang of slicked haired thugs. Jesse James Dupree I knew from the band Jackyl (hell yeah with a Y) and an interview where he carved up Tom Green's desk with his chainsaw guitar. Awesome.

The first night they came in after a night of partying and Keifer came straight up to the desk where we have a goldfish bowl. He said that he was really hungry and pretended that he was dunking his head in the bowl to eat my fish. This is not a new joke to me working here, but it was pretty funny being who he was. Then he walked over to an orchid pot near the desk that has decorative rocks stuck to the pot. He asked if he could have one of the rocks and I said, "Sorry, no. They are glued in."

"Why would you do that?"

"Well, we knew you were coming, Mr. Sutherland."

He laughed probably more than he should have, shook my hand, and said, "You know what? You're a cool guy. Unlike the other assholes who checked me in." Ha! I doubt my coworkers were assholes to Keifer, but I always had an inkling that I was indeed cool. He tipped me a twenty and they went to they're rooms.

The second night they came in from another night of partying and Keifer went straight to the goldfish bowl, said he was hungry, and pretended to eat my fish again. Jesse James Dupree mentioned that it must be like the movie Groundhog Day for me. Mr. Dupree's esteem went up highly in my book for that. They tipped me again, joked around a bit more in the lobby and went back up to their rooms. Jesse called down shortly later and said he liked the hotel, but that next time they come I should arrange for a fishbowl to be filled with expensive whiskey complete with a live swimming goldfish, and a crazy straw to be put into Keifer's room next time. I, of course agreed that this was an excellent idea and I would surely work on that next time.

And that's pretty much what happened. No cigarette butt in the eye. Just $40 and a pretty good story. Not bad shifts if you ask me. The next day The Red Eye had a brief blurb about how much Keifer Sutherland enjoyed our hotel, but mentioned concern for our goldfish. Not sure how that part got out, but it did help to prove to my coworkers that I wasn't lying.