Saturday, December 13, 2008

Sexual Harassment

This evening a young woman came to the front desk and asked if there were any female employees working tonight. The full time auditor is a woman, but on Thursday and Friday nights it is only us manly men who man the hotel, as you can tell by how masculine this sentence got toward the end. Anyway, this situation nominated yours truly to awkwardly try to zip up the back of her dress without touching her skin. I learned two things from this experience; I am glad I am a guy because those tiny zippers are a bitch and that it is impossible for me to be in that kind of situation without accidentally noting that is it "hard to get it up." Fortunatly we made it through without any sexual harassment lawsuits.

Which brings me to the entry I've been meaning to write about. Granted, I only have a little interaction with the housekeeping department so I have no clue what kind of situations they have encountered when they have walked into a room with too forward guy, but all of the harassment issues I know of come from those dirty minded women to our poor and innocent male bellmen.

One time a woman who was sixty going on twenty two called down to see if we could go across the street and pick her up a pack of smokes. Not trying to take away any one's tips, I asked the doorman if he wants to do it. No problem, easy money. He delivers the cigarettes and comes back down in record time.

"She wants matches. There aint no way I am going back up there."

Apparently she was up there wearing a robe and talking to her friend on speaker phone. Shortly after he entered the room he was flashed and crotch grabbed while the other woman on the phone asked what kind of dirty things they were going to do.

I walked the matches upstairs and found a houseman who was just leaving the room after delivering some sort of amenity. The matches were passed on to him. He had no problem going back in the room.

Another story was when we had a certain film star stay with us. We know this because she informed us she is an actress, a model, and a dancer. The front officer manager tried to confirm this, but for some reason our content browser blocked all of her websites. Anyway, a good friend of mine was working as a bellman that day and went up to check her in.

"Ah, yes. This is a good room. I like the mirror. Me and my husband are definetly going to have sex in front of it tonight. Maybe we'll film it."


She then sat on the bed blocking his way out with her knees.

"Hold on sweetie, let me get you a little tip," she said as she went through her bag. Several minutes later she pulled out a rectangle sheet and started to write on it.

He came back down to the front desk with a red face and showed us his tip. It was an artistic photo of her clutching her enhanced adjustments with the writing, "Hugz and a snuggle" with her signature. My friend loved this photo so much that he left it in his mailbox for everyone to enjoy when he left the hotel for another job. Fortunately, I had the good sense to put it in an envelope and deliver it to him for his birthday last month.

But then someone at the party stole it. Easy come, easy go.

Of course, it is a double standard that if the above two women were guys doing that to a female worker, it would have resulted in more than snickering on our part. Is that wrong? Maybe. But it is pretty funny.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Room Move

"Hello. My room has a mildewy smell coming from the bathroom."

"I see. Would that be from last night when your buddy got drunk and passed out in the bathtub with the water running which resulted in the flooding of the two rooms under yours?"


"I'll have a new key sent up immediately, sir."