Me: Good evening and thank you for calling "hotel", how may I help you?
Woman (young sounding and soft spoken): Hello. I need you to help me find a guest in your hotel.
Me: No problem. What is the last name?
Woman: Hurd. If not Hurd, than Beard. Or maybe Rogers.
Me: Ok. I am sorry, I am not finding any of those names. Are you sure they are staying at this hotel?
Woman: Oh yes. He is definitely there. Ok, let me think. My birthday is on the 20th and it is 12 of August. ...August.... How about room 338?
Me: Uhm, no, sorry. We do not have a room with that number. I'm sorry, can you hold for a second? I have another call.
Woman: Of course. I love you. You have been so nice to me.
Me: Ok, I'm back. Well, I looked up those names and every name that starts with the same letters and nothing is turning up. So, you are sure this person is staying at this hotel?
Woman: Oh yes, they are staying in a suite. (talks quietly to herself naming more numbers and dates) Ok, can you check suite number 2303?
Me: Again, I am sorry. Our floors don't go so high.
Woman: Hmm. How do the floors there work? I love you. You are so helpful.
Me: (Describes the layout of the floors and the suite locations. Three times. I think she is drawing a map.)
Woman: Tell you what, let me go over this again. What's your name and phone number?
Me: Uh, well my name is "me" and you can reach me at "312-hotel-number".
Woman: (Names more number combinations under her breath.) You are so nice to me. I have to find out where this person is staying so I can save him.
Me: Excuse me? Save him?
Woman: Yes. He is about to do something self destructive, even though he does not know it, and I have to save him. I know it sounds weird.
Me: I don't know what to tell you....
Woman: You are so kind. I love you. I better just come over there and start knocking on the doors of the suites.
Me: Uhmm, I am sorry. That's probably not such a good idea. I can't really have anyone come and knock on random peoples doors.
Woman: Oh, I see. Ok, I will make some other phone calls then. Thanks for all your help!
Me: (Lock the doors)