Celebrities and Drunkards

The regular night auditor is on vacation so I am on day 3 of a 7 day midnight marathon. So far it has been pretty tame, but I'll throw in some tidbits.

#1

We had a rapper whom I never heard of stay here. He had an entourage, an Escalade parked up front, ate nothing but fast food, smoked a whole lot of weed in the room, and has beaten his murder rap, but still got convicted for the involuntary manslaughter. Come on man, try to have some originality here.

Bellman: Hey, don't you know who that big fat guy eating the cheeseburger is?
Me: No idea. Who?
Bellman: 50 cent!

It really wasn't 50 Cent.

#2

Also, the night bellman told me that some girl came to the desk late at night one day and asked about me. This is unusual. Even though I am amazingly attractive, I rarely get flirted with at work and never flirt back. You believe me, don't you, baby?

Night Bellman: Yeah. She didn't know your name but asked where was the cute guy wearing glasses and an ugly tie.
Me: Well, I do wear glasses and it certainly is an ugly tie. That is odd, though. I have no idea who that could be. What did she look like?
Night Bellman: A drunkard.
Me: Ahhhhhhh.

Mystery solved.

#3

Me: Yes, they are filming an Angelina Jolie movie outside and, yes, I will send her up to your room immediately. You are very funny. Go to bed.

#4

So far my favorite guest has been the drunken Norwegian guy. He was awesome. He walked up to me and briefly mumbled something. I agreed with him and he gave me $20. This is how all of my guest interactions should be. If you stay at my hotel, you should definetely do this too.