I haven't been writing here much. Alot has been going such as a crazy woman trying to bash open doors with a fire extinguisher, a birthday girl getting arrested after finding her boyfriend having relations with another girl, and a young stalker who gave me a quite hilarious love note to deliver to a guest who was staying with another man. I have meant to write out these stories, but I haven't. I'm lazy. I will probably eventually, but not right now. Just over a year ago I mentioned how I had a celebrity guest stay and promised to give the whole story if requested by email at graveyardchicago@gmail.com. So as an apology to all three people who wrote to me whom I did not write back, I will tell the story now.
In April 2009 Keifer Sutherland and Jesse James Dupree stayed in my hotel for two nights, both which I was working midnights. I grew up watching Keifer movies, starting with Stand By Me which made me afraid to go to Junior High because I was certain that there was an Ace Merirll waiting around the parking lot who was going to stick a cigarette in my eye with his gang of slicked haired thugs. Jesse James Dupree I knew from the band Jackyl (hell yeah with a Y) and an interview where he carved up Tom Green's desk with his chainsaw guitar. Awesome.
The first night they came in after a night of partying and Keifer came straight up to the desk where we have a goldfish bowl. He said that he was really hungry and pretended that he was dunking his head in the bowl to eat my fish. This is not a new joke to me working here, but it was pretty funny being who he was. Then he walked over to an orchid pot near the desk that has decorative rocks stuck to the pot. He asked if he could have one of the rocks and I said, "Sorry, no. They are glued in."
"Why would you do that?"
"Well, we knew you were coming, Mr. Sutherland."
He laughed probably more than he should have, shook my hand, and said, "You know what? You're a cool guy. Unlike the other assholes who checked me in." Ha! I doubt my coworkers were assholes to Keifer, but I always had an inkling that I was indeed cool. He tipped me a twenty and they went to they're rooms.
The second night they came in from another night of partying and Keifer went straight to the goldfish bowl, said he was hungry, and pretended to eat my fish again. Jesse James Dupree mentioned that it must be like the movie Groundhog Day for me. Mr. Dupree's esteem went up highly in my book for that. They tipped me again, joked around a bit more in the lobby and went back up to their rooms. Jesse called down shortly later and said he liked the hotel, but that next time they come I should arrange for a fishbowl to be filled with expensive whiskey complete with a live swimming goldfish, and a crazy straw to be put into Keifer's room next time. I, of course agreed that this was an excellent idea and I would surely work on that next time.
And that's pretty much what happened. No cigarette butt in the eye. Just $40 and a pretty good story. Not bad shifts if you ask me. The next day The Red Eye had a brief blurb about how much Keifer Sutherland enjoyed our hotel, but mentioned concern for our goldfish. Not sure how that part got out, but it did help to prove to my coworkers that I wasn't lying.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
More Than Meets The Eye
They are filming something outside of the hotel. My coworker said she thinks it might be Transformers 3. I hope not. While it would be cool to watch giant robots fighting on the street, but I'm not in the mood for the noise complaints.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Hotel Odyssey 2010
11pm
Families jumped in cabs racing to go see the fireworks and dressed up couples wearing plastic top hats and tiaras started flocking to the bars. Everyone was happy and completely under dressed for the bitter cold outside.
11:59pm
I heard the countdown being shouted throughout the nearby hotel bar. Happy New Year! The restaurant manager stepped out to raise his glass of water to me in cheer. I raised my can of Diet Coke to toast him across the lobby.
12:30am
Two bicycle cops came in to use the restroom and escape the cold. I recognized one who moonlighted as security at another property I worked at. They ended up hanging out in the lobby for a couple hours. This allowed them an opportunity to warm up and me to have the two armed guards I've always wanted. One drunk jerk came in off the street to harass my staff and they got him to leave without me having to say a word. Awesome.
1:30am
Girls dashed across the street to go their respective hotels armored only in tiny skirts and high heels trying to race ahead of the harsh wind. They lost. Everyone who came through the lobby also felt the need to inform me of the cold weather. I apologized and tried to assure them I did everything within my powers have kept this from happening. They understood and appreciated my efforts, but asked that I try harder the next time.
2:40am
My guards eventually get a call from a nearby Hilton where trouble is brewing. I bid them a begrudged fair well, knowing that this inevitably meant my troubles were about to begin.
2:42am
Three noise complaints in a row. One guy told me that if his neighbors didn't shut up, he was going to get them back even worse when they were trying to sleep off their hangovers. Another caused us to halt an amorous couple from doing immoral things in the hallway since they couldn't wait to get to their own room and floor. I invited the third offenders to come down to the lobby if they wanted to carry on their merry making without fear of upsetting their grumpy floor mates. They were really cool and we became fast friends soon after. They asked when I got off my shift and if I would join them when off duty, but with the promise that we wouldn't hang out in their room where we would disturb of complainers. I told them if they were still about at 6:30am I would consider it, but they didn't quite make it. Maybe next time BFFs!
3:45am
A suite called down and asked me to send up a bottle of Vodka. "Sorry, ma'am. The bar is closed and there is no store anywhere nearby where you can by alcohol at this time." In reality, I wasn't really that sorry.
5am
My houseman came in from outside to inform me that one of our guests was chatting with a homeless person and that they were likely to both come inside so the luckless gentleman could use a restroom. I feel kind of bad about it, but we don't allow non guests to use any of our facilities for the safety of our staff and guests. The guy walked in with the homeless gentleman and said, "It's ok, he's with me and I am a guest." I told him that we lock up all of the lobby restrooms at night when the restaurant closes (true) and the only restrooms that are available are the ones in the guest rooms (also true). When he asked where the guest rooms where, I said, "Well, like the one you are staying in." He then apologised to the homeless man saying that maybe that wasn't the best idea. Everyone ended up agreeing, including the understanding homeless man. I do appreciate a person trying to help out an unfortunate, but he pretty much enforced why such rules are in place.
5:30am
Finally got a chance to sit down to enjoy a crappy 7 11 hosted lunch/breakfast/dinner. Meal names get confusing when you work nights.
5:45am
Crappy meal is interrupted. A guest who came down to replace his room key casually mentions, "Oh, by the way. There is some guy passed out in the fourth floor hallway. I hope he's not dead." I agreed that I too hoped he was not dead and had my bellman investigate. After being unable to wake him, he asked me for an assist. When I got up to the floor, I saw the well dressed young gentleman curled up on the floor with his arms cradling his head as a pillow. I had to mildly scold my concerned coworker after he decided to help by quietly laughing and snapping a photo on his cell phone. After five minutes of trying to wake him with quiet speaking to louder urging to forcefully shaking, he finally woke up. I started to ask him questions that were beyond him at the moment such as his driver's license, his room number, and his name. Instead of answering me, he started fiddling with his iPhone. I escorted him down to a chair in the lobby so we could continue our insightful chat without disturbing anymore guests. "What is your name, sir? Are you sure you are in the right hotel? If you are trying to call a friend on your cell phone that is staying here, I would be happy to ring their room. Maybe some coffee or water well help you remember how to express yourself in a more vocal fashion." All the while, he was still scrolling through his phone. After awhile, he did speak. "Am I in Chicago?" I was happy that we were getting somewhere! After I assured him that he was, he then asked, "Am I really that drunk?" I once again assured him that he most certainly was. He kind of laughed and played with his phone some more. Just as I was wondering if I should call 911, he finished his scrolling, leaned to rest his head against the wall, and dropped his cell phone. When I picked it up, I saw that he had just spent the last twenty minutes looking up his confirmation email for his room on the iPhone. I have to admire that. The easy way would be to pull out your wallet and driver's license or maybe simply say your last name. Anyway, I made him a new key and helped him up to his room. On the way up he asked three more times if he could really be this drunk. I mentioned that he must have had a pretty good New Years. He wasn't so sure because he was pretty certain he came back to the hotel alone. I had to concede the point.
6:35am
Passed on to my relief that he has one wake up call to do at 11:30am. When asked how my shift went, I told him that it wasn't half as strange as I expected.
Families jumped in cabs racing to go see the fireworks and dressed up couples wearing plastic top hats and tiaras started flocking to the bars. Everyone was happy and completely under dressed for the bitter cold outside.
11:59pm
I heard the countdown being shouted throughout the nearby hotel bar. Happy New Year! The restaurant manager stepped out to raise his glass of water to me in cheer. I raised my can of Diet Coke to toast him across the lobby.
12:30am
Two bicycle cops came in to use the restroom and escape the cold. I recognized one who moonlighted as security at another property I worked at. They ended up hanging out in the lobby for a couple hours. This allowed them an opportunity to warm up and me to have the two armed guards I've always wanted. One drunk jerk came in off the street to harass my staff and they got him to leave without me having to say a word. Awesome.
1:30am
Girls dashed across the street to go their respective hotels armored only in tiny skirts and high heels trying to race ahead of the harsh wind. They lost. Everyone who came through the lobby also felt the need to inform me of the cold weather. I apologized and tried to assure them I did everything within my powers have kept this from happening. They understood and appreciated my efforts, but asked that I try harder the next time.
2:40am
My guards eventually get a call from a nearby Hilton where trouble is brewing. I bid them a begrudged fair well, knowing that this inevitably meant my troubles were about to begin.
2:42am
Three noise complaints in a row. One guy told me that if his neighbors didn't shut up, he was going to get them back even worse when they were trying to sleep off their hangovers. Another caused us to halt an amorous couple from doing immoral things in the hallway since they couldn't wait to get to their own room and floor. I invited the third offenders to come down to the lobby if they wanted to carry on their merry making without fear of upsetting their grumpy floor mates. They were really cool and we became fast friends soon after. They asked when I got off my shift and if I would join them when off duty, but with the promise that we wouldn't hang out in their room where we would disturb of complainers. I told them if they were still about at 6:30am I would consider it, but they didn't quite make it. Maybe next time BFFs!
3:45am
A suite called down and asked me to send up a bottle of Vodka. "Sorry, ma'am. The bar is closed and there is no store anywhere nearby where you can by alcohol at this time." In reality, I wasn't really that sorry.
5am
My houseman came in from outside to inform me that one of our guests was chatting with a homeless person and that they were likely to both come inside so the luckless gentleman could use a restroom. I feel kind of bad about it, but we don't allow non guests to use any of our facilities for the safety of our staff and guests. The guy walked in with the homeless gentleman and said, "It's ok, he's with me and I am a guest." I told him that we lock up all of the lobby restrooms at night when the restaurant closes (true) and the only restrooms that are available are the ones in the guest rooms (also true). When he asked where the guest rooms where, I said, "Well, like the one you are staying in." He then apologised to the homeless man saying that maybe that wasn't the best idea. Everyone ended up agreeing, including the understanding homeless man. I do appreciate a person trying to help out an unfortunate, but he pretty much enforced why such rules are in place.
5:30am
Finally got a chance to sit down to enjoy a crappy 7 11 hosted lunch/breakfast/dinner. Meal names get confusing when you work nights.
5:45am
Crappy meal is interrupted. A guest who came down to replace his room key casually mentions, "Oh, by the way. There is some guy passed out in the fourth floor hallway. I hope he's not dead." I agreed that I too hoped he was not dead and had my bellman investigate. After being unable to wake him, he asked me for an assist. When I got up to the floor, I saw the well dressed young gentleman curled up on the floor with his arms cradling his head as a pillow. I had to mildly scold my concerned coworker after he decided to help by quietly laughing and snapping a photo on his cell phone. After five minutes of trying to wake him with quiet speaking to louder urging to forcefully shaking, he finally woke up. I started to ask him questions that were beyond him at the moment such as his driver's license, his room number, and his name. Instead of answering me, he started fiddling with his iPhone. I escorted him down to a chair in the lobby so we could continue our insightful chat without disturbing anymore guests. "What is your name, sir? Are you sure you are in the right hotel? If you are trying to call a friend on your cell phone that is staying here, I would be happy to ring their room. Maybe some coffee or water well help you remember how to express yourself in a more vocal fashion." All the while, he was still scrolling through his phone. After awhile, he did speak. "Am I in Chicago?" I was happy that we were getting somewhere! After I assured him that he was, he then asked, "Am I really that drunk?" I once again assured him that he most certainly was. He kind of laughed and played with his phone some more. Just as I was wondering if I should call 911, he finished his scrolling, leaned to rest his head against the wall, and dropped his cell phone. When I picked it up, I saw that he had just spent the last twenty minutes looking up his confirmation email for his room on the iPhone. I have to admire that. The easy way would be to pull out your wallet and driver's license or maybe simply say your last name. Anyway, I made him a new key and helped him up to his room. On the way up he asked three more times if he could really be this drunk. I mentioned that he must have had a pretty good New Years. He wasn't so sure because he was pretty certain he came back to the hotel alone. I had to concede the point.
6:35am
Passed on to my relief that he has one wake up call to do at 11:30am. When asked how my shift went, I told him that it wasn't half as strange as I expected.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas List
12 drunks a drinking
11 scammers scheming
10 escorts hooking
9 bachelorettes wooing
8 New yorkers shouting
7 groomsmen puking
6 bridesmaids bawling
5 Movado watches
4 yippee dogs
3 drunk Swedes
2 bruised cabbies
and your fiancee passed out in the lobby
11 scammers scheming
10 escorts hooking
9 bachelorettes wooing
8 New yorkers shouting
7 groomsmen puking
6 bridesmaids bawling
5 Movado watches
4 yippee dogs
3 drunk Swedes
2 bruised cabbies
and your fiancee passed out in the lobby
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Safety Traveling Tip
Another property I worked at had a lot of government employees stay there. They were usually very low key and easy to deal with, but we had one guy who was a regular and acted more like a sitcom character than an actual Fed. One time I saw that he was checking in, so I put him in a nice big corner room because I knew he would make a huge stink if he didn't like his room. No use, he had a problem. A big problem.
"This will not do. I have to change rooms."
"Really? Well, of course, but mind if I ask what's wrong with that one?"
"It's right next to the stairs."
"Oh? Are you worried about noise? Rooms by the elevators tend to get more noise complaints than rooms by the stairs."
"No, you don't understand. I am a government agent and this room is right next to the stairwell."
"I'm afraid I'm not following."
"Assassins. They will always strike the first room by the stairwell."
"Awesome. Here's your new key."
He also did weird things like asking male employees if they wanted to hang out after their shift. Some said sure assuming he meant having a friendly drink at a nearby bar. Nope. He wanted late night ice cream dates.
"Uh, sorry, sir. I'm very lactose intolerant."
"This will not do. I have to change rooms."
"Really? Well, of course, but mind if I ask what's wrong with that one?"
"It's right next to the stairs."
"Oh? Are you worried about noise? Rooms by the elevators tend to get more noise complaints than rooms by the stairs."
"No, you don't understand. I am a government agent and this room is right next to the stairwell."
"I'm afraid I'm not following."
"Assassins. They will always strike the first room by the stairwell."
"Awesome. Here's your new key."
He also did weird things like asking male employees if they wanted to hang out after their shift. Some said sure assuming he meant having a friendly drink at a nearby bar. Nope. He wanted late night ice cream dates.
"Uh, sorry, sir. I'm very lactose intolerant."
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sleep With The Fishes
We just had a guest call down to inform us that she woke up in the middle of the night because she could hear her goldfish blowing bubbles. She wasn't complaining, she just wanted to let us know.
It's rare that I get new ones, but it's a treat when I do.
It's rare that I get new ones, but it's a treat when I do.
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