Another property I worked at had a lot of government employees stay there. They were usually very low key and easy to deal with, but we had one guy who was a regular and acted more like a sitcom character than an actual Fed. One time I saw that he was checking in, so I put him in a nice big corner room because I knew he would make a huge stink if he didn't like his room. No use, he had a problem. A big problem.
"This will not do. I have to change rooms."
"Really? Well, of course, but mind if I ask what's wrong with that one?"
"It's right next to the stairs."
"Oh? Are you worried about noise? Rooms by the elevators tend to get more noise complaints than rooms by the stairs."
"No, you don't understand. I am a government agent and this room is right next to the stairwell."
"I'm afraid I'm not following."
"Assassins. They will always strike the first room by the stairwell."
"Awesome. Here's your new key."
He also did weird things like asking male employees if they wanted to hang out after their shift. Some said sure assuming he meant having a friendly drink at a nearby bar. Nope. He wanted late night ice cream dates.
"Uh, sorry, sir. I'm very lactose intolerant."