Friday, April 10, 2009

What Made Me Think: Part II

What made me think you were committing identity theft to get a room tonight:

  1. You didn't look right. You were wearing sweatpants and have no purse or bags. You smelt and appeared not to have washed in days. I don't like to discriminate, but I have to in order to protect my place of business and my job.
  2. The guy you were with was hanging back by the revolving door. He looked like he was ready to bolt at any time.
  3. You asked me if we accept credit cards. This is a really dumb and suspicious question.
  4. You didn't ask me what the room rate is. When I offered it anyway, you could care less. You may be eccentric tycoons, but I have my doubts.
  5. You handed me a debit card and a driver's license. Normally a good sign since most shady people want to pay cash, but you didn't pull them out of a purse or wallet. You had them floating around in your sweatpants pocket.
  6. The picture on the license is close, but not close enough. If it wasn't for everything else that made me suspicious, I might not have noticed.
  7. I mentioned this and you were not offended. I asked for another form of identification and you said you don't have anything without bothering to check or even think about it. You said you just got a haircut.
  8. I said I am sorry, but I can't help you and you were OK with that. The fact that you left so quietly and without argument made me happy. It told me that you were up to no good and I am glad that I don't have to argue with you for a half hour.

I decided to call a hotel around the block to warn them you might be showing up there. The desk clerk is amused because you are standing in front of him. He is less discriminating than I am and has tried to check you in.

Unfortunately, the card has been declined.

1 comment:

craftyashley said...

Seriously, could you BE more obvious! Thanks for the laugh!