A thirteen year old stops by the desk on the way out with his family.
"Hi. I know that you think that I am the trouble maker around here, but that's just not true. The thing is that I just really like apples. Now, I know you noticed that I stuffed six apples into my cargo pants when I was in the elevator with you, but that's only because I love apples so much and you guys just happen to have my favorite brand of apples in your lobby. It has come to my attention that you think that my behavior has been suspicious since someone has been riding the elevators from floor to floor and chucking apples at people's doors when the door opens. That is very unfortunate. I cant believe someone would make such a huge mess in your hallways and disturb your other guests when they are trying to sleep. But it's not me. Because, you know, I just really really love to eat apples. So I understand the misunderstanding and I hope you catch the troublemakers who are doing this. See you when we get back!"
Ah, thirteen. The age where you know everything and everyone else is so very stupid. I loved this speech. We knew we had no proof and was showing off for his sister and cousins. The apple chucking did stop, but he kept coming down to the desk asking for things like cup after cup of hot water. After the fourth cup I asked him what all the water was for.
"Hot chocolate? On a warm August afternoon?"
"Hot chocolate is always good."
Never did get to find out what he was boiling up there. Maybe it's for the best.