They Only Come Out At 5AM

A girl in her early 20s comes down to the desk looking for a cab. While the bellman flags one down for her, she decides to share.

"Oops. I left my cigarettes in my friend's room and I forgot the room number. He's a really cool guy. We've known each other for a long time. Don't worry, he's gay."

"I see. Did you call down a couple hours ago asking about our smoking policy?"

"Yeah, that was me. Hey, do you know where I was before I got here?"

"No. No I do not. Where?"

"Jail."

"Really? What for?"

"Guess."

"Maybe it would be better if you just told me."

"Solicitation. I was picked up by a fat guy in a real nice Cadillac. I get in and he asks if I would do...something to him. I told him normally not on the first date, but for him I would. I figured I was going to make some big money. Just as I was taking off my blouse, he pulls out his big fat wallet and shows me his badge."

"Oh. Wow."

"It was cool though. They let me go after awhile. The cops even let me drink my vodka."

"Oh really?"

"Hey, do you know where I can get some booze?"

"At 5am on Saturday morning? Afraid not. Some places start selling at 7, though."

"Oh, ok. I'll be back later."

"Uhm, ok?"

The Marriott Blues

4:30am on Saturday morning, two girls and a guy come back from the clubs. They have drinks in hand and two mostly full bottles of vodka. Here are some tidbits from our conversation.

"Hello. We've been drinking." ~ O rly?

"One time I passed out in the lobby at the Marriott and they threw a blanket over me. Would you throw a blanket over me if I passed out in your lobby?" ~ That or a bucket of water.

"We're going to go drink more in our room." ~ Great.

"Hey, would you call my room first if you are going to call the cops about the noise? The Marriott didn't call me before they called the police." ~ Those unscrupulous curs!

"Don't worry. I have a key to the minibar." ~ Double great.

"You guys are nice. You are a nice hotel. That's good because I can't go to the Marriott any more...." ~ Actually, you are starting to grow on me now. You get a blanket.

"Ok sweetie, we're going to go back to drinking now. Have a goodnight and don't call the cops without telling us." ~ Goodnight! Please pass out soon!